Saturday, December 15, 2007

winter

the frailty of the limb in winter
like the hand of a lover once so true
so delicate so white...
if only they knew..

that within the root, love grew

the spring time spark long past winter's dark
kiss of night to daylight's plight
and dreams drift softly in the clouds...

such fingers dance touching the sky
wondering why the birds have all gone
and yet, though whispering winds, a magic begins
sweetly singing a naked tune.

Monday, October 01, 2007

. we walked in song .










the freight train has gone
without a sound.
the abandoned, old station
sits in whispers
and hisses of the little legged
creatures who sing in present tenses

dancing flowers and nectar finders
buzz the long rusted iron lane
where the night train would come
and the whistle would sound
as the passengers waited
for the misty cloud storm

cases from places so far
from these parts riddled
the path with colourful arts
as the goodbyes held long
and the winds shshshhhhhhhhhed
a great sigh would song
its night lullaby

from out of these mists
into light of the day
from travelers gone so far, far away
a kind old remembrance that
lives on this path
where the nectar finders buzz
and the flowers now dance





Sunday, September 23, 2007

. love and loss .


. love and loss .

i have always been the type of person who appreciates what is happening while it happens... savours flavours, and remembers silly details about the day.
i associate music with people i love or loath... i even get an emotional recall when the atmosphere outside is a certain stillness, or grayness...or tickles my nose with the play of rain...

my mom called me yesterday right before we were embarking on our whidby island expedition... she called with a quiver in her voice and told me that it had been time for LJ, one of our family dogs, to be put down. funny how sentimental i am. how i get sooo wrapped up in animals as being more as family members than pets...

she had been going down hill for awhile, but the last three days my parents did all that they could for her. i know that it was sooo hard for them to have to deal with this kind of thing. my mom told me it was like having one of her own kids die.. she's strong.. yet broken up by it.

so the last day or so i have been a bit uneasy.. i am fully rational and have accepted the passing of LJ, even happy that her suffering has ended and that her spirit can play and run without any limitations; but, what has been leaving me with anxiety is how Hooch, LJ's sister, will deal with the loss of her sibling. i worry about my dad and his attachment to them... i guess i just feel so far away from them and wish i could do more to help them mourn and cope. i know that we have to process such feelings and in time they hurt less.. but i wish that i could do more.

i talked to my mom for almost an hour and 45 mins today.. and we left with a bit of lightness on the phone. we had chuckled about old times and how life goes by so quickly. we made a little pact that we would try to live fully each day. drink in the sun, and savour our relations with others.


so this is a reminder those who read this, and perhaps myself too.. that we need to live each day being devoted to that day and not in the past or lost in the future. savor the moment when you notice that the afternoon sun is kissing the trees that try to touch the stars.. be present with your families.. even when miles are between you and listen to their words rather than interject the occasional uh huhs.. while you are multitasking...

the moment is real.
i enjoyed each moment with my old friend LJ.. i will miss her soo much. but i know that i truly was in the moment the times i spent with her.

savour each breath.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

..Pirates stay Crunchy in Milk..


It's national talk like a Pirate day and since I havent the time to come up with anything witty at 7am.. i am posting a story that i wrote ages ago about meeting my hubbie!

When last we met, th' Syren had been listing near to scuppers.
Blimey! She was done with the dankness of scurvy scalleywags. All she be needing was th' stars above, shanties to sing, and a thirst for the briny deep. Alas, th' winds decided to set a squiffy course. She found herself marooned and disguised as a landlubber. "'Twas the hempen halter," she thought. "I am sunk." Sink me! What treasure she was about to find!

This landlocked port was dull, full of messdeck lawyers and sprogs. She was in need of a new crew. Mates! Corsair Jacks to help her hoist th' colours. Arr, a treacherous chase indeed!

On th' turn of th' new moon, she dropped anchor at the Gypsy CoffeeHouse to inquire about working her Syren ways. Th' barmaid whispered , "Speak o' th' Captain," and pointed to a dark painted buccaneer in the corner. Her deadlights fixed on the Jack Tar and curiousity filled her sails. The Syren downed a glass o' grog, needin' a bit o' th' Dutch Courage, and floated on th' doldrums to him. With a wink and a knock o' th' table, she nodded at th' Captain. "Ahoy" said she in a voice o' th' wind. He looked up at th' she-pirate as if the he had been ensnared by a mermaid. "That rum from PaddyLack Jim runs a jig!" he thought to himself. Snapping up with a deep blink and a shake, th' old seadog stood up to only to tumble back into his chair as if hit by a rogue wave. Shiver Me Timbers!

"Seems th' clap o' thunder has ye." she laughed extending her arm to help him gather his sealegs. "Arrr, ye be the stars I set sail by," he whispered. And by the powers of Poseidon, before ye could even say 'Walk th' Plank', he scooped her up and pirated the Syren!

Aye, smartly to the crow's nest they weighed anchor for a bit o' rum & um... things that would catch th' sunset in ye cheeks!

Th' two set sail aboard the swift and mighty Phoenix . Stories are told, over many a mead, of two who'd come and go leaving a wake of lemon poppyseed muffins. It is thought that th' old Cap' and th' Syren are now The Dread Pirate Poppyseed and Black Charity.

So says th' legends......

Saturday, September 08, 2007

. quatre ans .

on the 17th of august, we celebrated the four year anniversary of our meeting...

:)

like a treasure on the shore, one finds the most amazing things when one is not looking.

the summer of 2003, my life was dismal at best.
i had just moved my entire life to tulsa, oklahoma from the beauties of victoria, british columbia. i went from cool and groovy to stagnant and suffocating.

my best gurl elizabeth came to visit me 2 weeks after i had moved.
we spent the weekend partying hard in the 108 degree temp, drinking much, and experience the ever so awful night club scene. on the hung over sunday, we decided to head over to the gypsy coffeehouse for a tamer night of coffee and tea and because i had heard that there was an open mike there. I asked the girl behind the counter about the festivities and she told me that i needed to speak with Captain. it was rumored that he might be in tonight.

well with luck, he did arrive. he had decided to pop in before heading out to see autumn shade play at a bar down the way. we talked for about an hour and i felt that he was the first normal person that i had found in tulsa. i definitely needed to know him better...

and on tuesday i went to the open mike, heard him read poetry... asked him if i could buy a chatbook from him and he said, i would like to buy you a drink...
so that thursday, was the day.
i was photographing the HOPE benefit at the PAC and told him that i would meet him after at this place called Caz's...
my sister came with me! OY! but she was worried.. and when i said. .. it's okay, i can take a cab home.. she was hesistant, but complied.
:)

that night we talked and talked and talked!
we walked to the center of the universe...
we danced in ballerina park..
and we kissed on a bridge under the stars..

he asked if i believed in spontanious living..
and i said yes

he's been by my side ever since.

:)














i love being in love.
:)
especially with my best friend.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

summer's last breath...


.. we run to the water
we're lighter than air ...

tonight is the summer bonfire

we will be running to the water
drumming to the full moon
fire dancing under mars
embracing the last of summer's golden hair

it all goes so fast...

suddenly the strawberries were pining to be picked
and now the blackberries wave and wain

such a gift
to embrace the day.

.

.

drift into dreams ...

. wearsunscreen .
. breathe .
. be.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

. f i l t e r s .

when i lived in chicago, things in life, possessions, had certain society levels that one tried to keep up with or top. purchasing new clothes, 400 count ralph lauren sheets and pier one furniture seems to be important.

funny how these things mean nothing to me.

Monday, August 13, 2007

. p a t t i s m i t h .

11 aug 07 1:30am
captain woke me up. 'fae. you'll never guess who is playing night...'

..on the anniversary of the death of jackson pollack,
in seattle's old theatre, the showbox...
patti smith, in concert

surprised that i was able to get tickets to the show that was sold out at noon that day (early birds rejoice), we headed downtown in old blue and battled the city traffic and parking woes.
the gods were with us, after all.. we were seeing patti smith!
we found parking 2 blocks from the event... waited in line with an eclectic mix of fans and enjoyed the summer air of the dusk.
at 8pm were were let into the venue where we were greeted by the lovely people at kexp and patti's merch team.
i purchased the book "strange messenger" for $25. I felt that this was a worthy spending of my very low funds since it was signed and books are eternal to me.

Capt found a place near the stage while i went for a beer run. I ran into two lovely folks while trying to find out where the end of the line was for the bar. in a very strange, yet patti way, i made it up to the front of the line and immediately got the folks up there with me. the kind gentleman bought our sam adams... extraordinarily generous! thank you kind folks! you have no idea what your kindness meant!

so with free beers in hand i wandered back, weaving in an out of people, to Capt and we started chatting to the people around us about the last time we saw patti. we met some great people from... Chicago, Houston, Ann Arbor! everyone had agreed that the patti experience was like none other.
a spell
a trance
a drug...
a spiritual breath...
call it what you'd like... but she is transcending.

she finally came out around 9pm, sporting her traditional black suit coat, t-shirt with a hand drawn peace sign and the letters L O V E spelled underneath, and a jeans.. Kimberly started off the set and i was in heaven! Horses is one of my top ten album! SO groovy that the first song was from that album. next a wicked version of Redondo Beach.. amazing!
and then she picked up a clarinet and lowered her mike stand
the lights dropped low to blues and greens as she started to play..
the bass, drums, guitar, joined as they began Are You Experienced.
wow.
killer version. i swear that i hear some parts of third rock from the sun and voodoo child in there. Lenny Kaye and her son Jackson were phenomenal. her purity came through in this song. little squeals from her 'old friend' and her humble smile made me have an enormous amout of respect for her for being so 'real'.

she then did a cover of Within You, Without You to mark the anniversary of Sgt. Peppers.. fantastic! my rock-n-roll gurrl beckie would have loved it!! perfect in every way! george would have been proud!

Beneath The Southern Cross was dedicated to Jackson Pollack... i adore this song, this album Gone Again.
oh
to owe
not anyone
nothing
to be
not here
but here
my thoughts were wrapped up in a memory of my dear friend and nights driving in chi-town with loud music with the windows rolled down in winter. i miss ya, jak

We Three, a song from Easter about seeing Tom Verlaine and his band Televison at the New York punk rock club CBGBs and Summer Cannibals were next. Houston and I had a good time with EAT!! EAT!!

then patti left for a moment while Lenny did Pushin Too Hard. stellar! he hasn't lost it.

stories.. poems..
when patti speaks it's for good reasons.. she told us of her day.
the day that was supposed to be a fasting day
but then after visiting a mission she was tempted by
free sake tasting
free fudge tasting
and free tea tasting!
the wanderers wonders of the streets..
to find those people of the city
who want what you have inside your pockets...
tales of jack and the beanstalk
and little pills of pink, yellow and blue..
White Rabbit was next... move over grace... you no longer own this one! I was lost in enchantment. yes.. down the rabbit hole without taking a pill.
jesus.. this one was intense. dancing.. dancing... rounding my head and neck.. eyes closed and feeling the lights change and flash..
the smell of seattle green in the air...
right into Ghost Dance where i couldn't stop moving! wrists in time.. like some Hindi dancer... this was mediation.
Houston told me to thank god for those wrists.... :)

Because The Night
phenomenal... it has to be amazing to be an artist singing a song and to step away from the mike only to hear the chorus of fans singing all the words!
Peaceable Kingdom from trampin' was next... only to be quickly followed with the introduction of Peter Buck from REM! Holy! i couldn't believe it.
Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine!
INTENSE!!!
GLORIA pounded out with mass dancing..
the crowd was a sea, waves and arms!
she asked the house to turn down the lights....
and she began a song that i have a new found respect for...Smells like Teen Spirit

yeah.
it rocked.

Thunderous applause! the sea was swelling and she and the band left the stage.

we cheered
stomped.
screamed
hooped! hollered!
she made us work for it...
and then came out....(with peter buck too!)
for the encore:
People Have The Power such an anthem for the masses.
we can turn the world around
we can turn the earth's revolution
we have the power ...

she then apologies to michael for f*&king up this one and promises another to compensate for this one and its f*&k ups!...
Everybody Hurts was next and it was breathtaking!!! i think that he would have loved it.. i think it was even better than REM.. i wonder what peter thinks! :D

Soul Kitchen was next.. and yes... i really do believe if there could be a female jim morrison this is the woman. damn, i was i awestruck..its a sexxy song.

she finished with
Rock And Roll Nigger
we were energy.. traveling back through time.. a mass of carbon and light!
fierce and unbound, she was boudicca
tossing her fire towards the roman empire.
urging people to take back this country, this planet, this hope.
caught in her web
she is perfect!
and hasn't lost a thing!

the concert ended and i was drenched in sweat, euphoric and wrapt in awe
this was phenomenal.

we left with stories floating in our heads of 'bring blankets to the mission'
and 'turn off the spicket while brushing our teeth'...

thank you patti.
thank you Capt for taking me!
thank you kind people for beer!
thank you Houston for partying!

i cant wait for the next one.
*nod*


Tuesday, July 31, 2007

travel...




the freight train has gone
without a sound.
the abandoned, old station
sits in whispers
and hisses of the little legged
creatures who sing in present tenses

dancing flowers and nectar finders
buzz the long rusted iron lane
where the night train would come
and the whistle would sound
as the passengers waited
for the misty cloud storm

cases from places so far
from these parts riddled
the path with colourful arts
as the goodbyes held long
and the winds shshshhhhhhhhhed
a great sigh would song
its night lullaby

from out of these mists
into light of the day
from travelers gone so far, far away
a kind old remembrance that
lives on this path
where the nectar finders buzz
and the flowers now dance

. wearsunscreen .
. breathe .
. live each day.

Friday, July 20, 2007

. s i g h .




By Jia Tian Shi


a friend's poem
brought forth
some summertime remembrances...


the sound of the old iron fan
with its musings whizzing past
the dancing hairs of my younger self

the smell of grass heat and humidity
and the tic-tock of the wall clock
that was aways caught being five minutes late

shadow play on the yellow walls
while toes scrunched in the shag carpet
and my mother
in her blue striped sundress
swaying
making supper.

. summer rememberance .

a friend's poem brought forth a memory of sorts...

i recall
the sound of the old iron fan
with its musings whizzing past
the dancing hairs of my younger self

the smell of grass heat and humidity
and the tic-tock of the wall clock
that was aways caught being five minutes late

shadow play on the yellow walls
while toes scrunched in the shag carpet
and my mother
in her blue striped sundress
swaying
making supper.

painting by Jia Tian Shi

Sunday, June 24, 2007

happiness...


is the best face lift...

so has occurred to me that tomorrow marks the 4 year anniversary of me moving out of my apartment in victoria...

at the time ... i was so unhinged. broken.
felt like i was caught in a void that held
no summer nor winter
no chill nor warmth
no light nor darkness..
empty.
the thought of leaving home was so intense that i truly thought i was breaking inside.

and now..
four turns of the wheel..
strange places, odd faces..
new tastes and heart race(ing)
from the dryness into rain..
i was a springtime seed in the wind
and now..
i am growing like a vine
stretching out my finger leaves
embracing the new life.. the new hope.. the new home
that is within me.

leaving victoria was truly the best thing that ever happened to me.

and at times, my homesickness for the island life kicks me back a few notches..
but i am finding that the seattle area is not such a bad consolation prize.
sweetness of cedar.. arbutus daydreams.. vine ripened marion berries.. candied salmon.. ferry boat rides... mountains EVERYWHERE i look.. my own private meadow with robins and stellarjays.. swallows and sparrows.. chickadees and warblers.. a backyard symphony!!
yeah..
and a person who loves me
all the time
not just sometimes
but always.

i feel transformed. and alive.. and young.
my friends tell me that i look better than i ever did in victoria...
the stress is gone from my eyes..
the hurt has healed
and my soul is calm.
perhaps that is the greatest gift of all.

music and creation is my everyday diet.
and with my pirate by my side, great friends to fill the sails with laughter..
the adventure is amazing.

happiness...

is the best face lift...

so has occurred to me that tomorrow marks the 4 year anniversary of me moving out of my apartment in victoria...

at the time ... i was so unhinged. broken.
felt like i was caught in a void that held
no summer nor winter
no chill nor warmth
no light nor darkness..
empty.
the thought of leaving home was so intense that i truly thought i was breaking inside.

and now..
four turns of the wheel..
strange places, odd faces..
new tastes and heart race(ing)
from the dryness into rain..
i was a springtime seed in the wind
and now..
i am growing like a vine
stretching out my finger leaves
embracing the new life.. the new hope.. the new home
that is within me.

leaving victoria was truly the best thing that ever happened to me.

and at times, my homesickness for the island life kicks me back a few notches..
but i am finding that the seattle area is not such a bad consolation prize.
sweetness of cedar.. arbutus daydreams.. vine ripened marion berries.. candied salmon.. ferry boat rides... mountains EVERYWHERE i look.. my own private meadow with robins and stellarjays.. swallows and sparrows.. chickadees and warblers.. a backyard symphony!!
yeah..
and a person who loves me
all the time
not just sometimes
but always.

i feel transformed. and alive.. and young.
my friends tell me that i look better than i ever did in victoria...
the stress is gone from my eyes..
the hurt has healed
and my soul is calm.
perhaps that is the greatest gift of all.

music and creation is my everyday diet.
and with my pirate by my side, great friends to fill the sails with laughter..
the adventure is amazing.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

film shoots and festivals


folklife has come and gone ..
it was the grooviest festival that i have been to / been a part of.
kind volunteers, fun times, and interesting costumes... not to mention the organic, vegan mini doughnuts that the thought makes my mouth water!! YUM!

interesting folks.. great music.. a little rain and dancing children... magic tricks from a good friend and whiskey! :bounce:
good times...

incidently....
have you seen rapidograph's new look!?

he was very popular at the folk life... people kept coming up to him asking if he was alright! :D

today, we are filming on location at an old building in pioneers square. Captain has a new script ready for the Kurosawa filmfestival and I am playing a role in his movie entitled "Water From the Mountain" You can read the script here [link]

should be a great day!
many things on the go right now...
and summer is in the air!

happy happy joy joy!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

vague plague


plague
Pronunciation: \ ˈplāg \
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English plage, from Late Latin plaga, from Latin, blow; akin to Latin plangere to strike — more at plaint
Date: 14th century

1 a: a disastrous evil or affliction : calamity b: a destructively numerous influx ..a plague of locusts..
2 a: an epidemic disease causing a high rate of mortality : pestilence b: a virulent contagious febrile disease that is caused by a bacterium (Yersinia pestis) and that occurs in bubonic, pneumonic, and septicemic forms —called also black death
3 a: a cause of irritation : nuisance b: a sudden unwelcome outbreak ..a plague of burglaries..

so today marks one week in the return of the plague, part II.
i have been ping-ponging with this nasty pestilence for a month and it is a real nuisance.
my cough makes it appear that i do in fact have the black death and that locusts could and quite probably will emerge from my ears at any moment!!!

:omg:

okay.
maybe not.
but  i am quite sick of being sick.
i know that i only have myself to blame.
i have been carrying on like a teenager, just returned last week from a 4 day party express with my girls where i do not think that there was a moment when some form of vodka/cider/whiskey concoction wasnt on the menu. from bloody marys at breakfast to cider in the hottub.. yeah.. i did it to myself. :giggle:

so here's to more hot toddies
and an end to my phlegm.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

. un thinkable .

the sky was like the sea
clouds held onto morning's
light like sleeply
children tucked under covers
this monday light
was ordinary
such a light that one would see
on a tuesday or thursday of our life
then the light
that burned so bright
changed so vividly into night
when the stars that twinkle
even in the day
seemed to fall from the sky
and whither away
all too soon
the stars lost their light
all too soon
the stars lost their light

stolen from the sky
by the hands of quiet boy
who in confusion lost his sight
of life and love
of wrong and right
and in the world of
time and thought
the unthinkable happened
on that monday dawn
while those stars
that burned bright
even through the daylight
all too soon
lost their light
all too soon
the stars lost their light

. count down to earth day 2007 .

photography has alway been a passion...
capturing the simple things that perhaps one would overlook was always a game to me.. like uncovering a secret in the sand and wondering if it was placed there just for me...
sometimes images can be as strong as a touch, flooding back memories like a fragrance of an old love.. or an echo of laughter now departed..
it can be the symphony of the forest or the silent sparkles of the stars..

i believe that a picture can tell a thousand words...
like laundry on a clothesline.. my life has been documented with one photo after another.. zig zaging from one point of my life to another..
*smiles* dad was always snapping that camera..
...from first birthdays to road trips...
... silly sleepovers to serious convictions by the fashion police...
documented... and waiting for a moment of fond remembrance and perhaps blackmail.

i can remember, when i was very young, my mother would bring out this old photo album with all the great, great, great, grandmothers' pictures in it.. i remember the way that it smelled.. dusky musky.. the pages were black and the yellowed photos were held in place by fragile little corners.. the stories that would come from that book.. radio stores, bookees, tales of huge italian dinners that i swear i could feel the humidity from the pasta water and smell the basil and garlic frying in the olive oil... to the warmth of my nana's smile, her perfume and her broken english...

yes, our photographs are the illustrations to our storybooks... such tales!

for earthday, i started a little countdown on my deviantart site...


each day i will submit another photo until april 22.. earthday.
i've been away from taking pictures lately ... so i am back in the swing.
funny how us artist types flipflop between mediums.. it's like we are artistically promiscuous!

anyhoo..
take the time to look around.
taste the air and see the colours around you.
what is your story...

Saturday, March 03, 2007

. lilac .



on a rain swept morning
down past the old bridge
i walked to the water
where my memories lived
they sang the old songs
that my younger days knew
and i saw old reflections
of summer trees and you

bicycle rides
laughter and chess
silly secrets
and backyard picnics
we created new worlds out of
clouds dressed as clowns
as we made our way round
the town we were bound

and i think of the choice
that we had to make
and how the pain hurt so long
how i thought i would break
and you said that you thought
that you'd hold me back
when forward with you
was like rain on lilacs

i haven't been back
to the town where we met
the thought crossed my mind
though i feared the regret
to hear echos of laughter
that rolled through those streets
where we spent summer months
kissing soft with bare feet

do you think of the what ifs
if i'd only stayed
would we be happy and married
or tired and frayed
would i still be that beauty
that you'd use to see
when our days were so simple
with soft grass and tall trees

and i think of the choice
that we had to make
and how the pain hurt so long
how i thought i would break
and you said that you thought
that you'd hold me back
when forward with you
was like rain on lilacs

so many years gone
i'm happy and wed
at times the thoughts of you
are hard to hold forget
i wonder if you are
sailing the sky
like the bird that you were
uncaged and free fly

at daybreak, it's true
the time that i'd say
when the lilacs are sweet
from the dew of the day
that i swear that i catch
the scent of your skin
when the summer was lush
and we walked hand in hand

and i think of the choice
that we had to make
and how the pain hurt so long
how i thought i would break
and you said that you thought
that you'd hold me back
when forward with you
was like rain on lilacs

when forward with you
was like rain on lilacs